Monday, August 23, 2010

My Trip Through New England

Last week I drove through New England and saw many things.
I saw a woman with a "I brake for lighthouses." bumper sticker.  Unfortunately I couldn't snap a pic but I will do a drawing of it.  Actually, it is an improvement on it. The original was no where this awesome.
I also saw this:
It was fun to stare at while riding in the car. *sarcasm
This one was even better:

Because nothing makes me want to get on a long distance travel bus more than a weird driver cartoon.
It wasn't all driving though, I made some phone calls:

Potato phone gets great reception.
Looked at some art:

What does that pear look like? It is on the tip of my....
But I also saw breathtaking scenery.  My camera didn't do any of the views justice. 

Arcadia National Park, Maine

View from Olana: Estate of artist Frederic Edwin Church (New York)
All in all, a great trip. I just wish it was longer. 

Monday, August 9, 2010

My Shadow My Dog

I have a shadow.  You have a shadow.  The major difference between our shadows is that mine is a dog.
Let me explain.
My dog is a shih tzu.  Shih tzus are insecure lil buggers. He is very brave and independent most of the time, when going to go eat/drink in the dark, going on walks (unless it is dark and there is a lot of shadows), and playing with other dogs.  He even barks at the bad guys in horror movies. 
His problem is that he seems to be afraid of missing something spectacular if he doesn't follow my partner or myself all the time.  I don't know what he has in mind as he patiently waits outside the bathroom while I shower.  Will I scream and die?  Will I open the door with my arms full of dog treats?  Will there be fireworks?
I have even tried to show him that I am boring by walking from my bedroom to office, back to kitchen, to bedroom, and back to office but it didn't work.  There he was, at my feet, trotting along happily, making sure to let me go in a room first, lest he goes in first and I end up changing my mind. 
He is my loyal, anxious, lil Civil War veteran.
 
Oh, I guess I forgot to mention his full name is Colonel Max Dickerson. It is even on his collar.  
The Colonel gets mad at me sometimes for getting up and walking around when he would rather be napping.  He has attempted to seriously injure me....by weaving in and out of my feet while I carry things or am walking in a dimmed hallway. (I hate to turn on lights unless it is absolutely necessary.  With Max trying to trip me all the time, I think it has become necessary to turn on the light to walk five feet down my hall.)
He may be trying to paralyze me, perhaps to make it easier to follow me around, but I still love him even if he loves my partner more.  (More on that another time but I can say right now that he has never tripped him.)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Wal-mart: How It Makes Me Feel

If you live in good old Americuh and have ever gone outside of your home you have seen a Wal-mart. You may have even entered one.  You may even gone shopping there. Myself? I hate Wal-mart.  If I listed all of the reasons, it would... well, it would take a very long time. 
No, this post is how Wal-mart makes me feel on those rare occasions when I am forced to enter one of those cinder-block structures of despair.
I feel like I am dying. 
Let me illustrate.
Is it just one thing about Wal-mart that gives me a raging headache, a touch of nausea, and a very distinct sense that the world is doing the cha-cha through space.
I know for a fact that the flourescent lights play a factor. They cover the whole ceiling, spaced mere inches apart I am guessing but I can not confirm that as any attempts to look at the ceiling renders me blind from the bright, white glare. I am affected so strongly by the lights because of my sensitive eyes but I don't it is just that.  The lights are just too bright.  If you stay in a Wal-mart long enough your skin will dry and harden like the outside of a hotdog on one of those rolling thing a ma bobs at the gas station.
Now Target, Target is all different. At Target I am able to browse for upwards of twenty minutes before the icky feelings start. I like Target.
Back to Wal-mart.
So, I am in Wal-mart, eyes half closed, clinging onto whoever I am with(s) arm, being dragged around the store when part two of Wal-mart's Operation: Inua Death. The sheer amount of stuff my light blinded little eyes to take in is astounding. Product, product everywhere.  Racks as far as the eye can see of poorly stitched together clothes under two dollars, cheap power tools, guns, and toys made of lead. 
Bright lights + over-stimulation = tired aching, dizzy me.
Darn you Wal-mart, Darn you to a really smelly landfill.
But considering your customer base, you probably wouldn't even notice it.